boom goes the fireworks.

Happy Lunar New Year you guys. 

As much as the Chinese bloodline flows within my veins....okay what the eff. HAHA. Anyways. Yes Happy Chinese New Year to my friends, fellow bloggers...and well..the general public (hi!). We don't celebrate the Lunar New Year cause I was brought up in a Malay environment even though we do have a bloodline..as well as relatives who celebrate the New Year. But it's alright. I know I will be collecting red packets along the way wohoo! 

May this year of the Snake brings everyone prosperity, luck, happiness, love and all the good things in life that makes you giddy. 

My new semester starts next week. NEXT-effing-WEEK!! time does fly fast doesn't it? I am on my 2nd year 2nd semester. Oh dear I have 1 more year till I graduate. crying.jpg

I was thinking of continuing my studies before I start work. I've been thinking over my options to two cases. 1) awarded a scholarship 2) not awarded a scholarship

IF I was awarded, I was thinking of either UK or Australia. But things are rough around here (plus my grades lol why) so option 2 is that I would want to go to West Malaysia either in UM or USM. I wouldn't want to get my hopes high so I decided to ace my exams & industrial training but have a plan at the back of my head. When all's well then I will think it over. Any advices? No? Yeah you can DM me over at Twitter personally. xo

I will going out in a bit..in like another 3 hours? Family friend's place. Haven't met them for such a long time. Decided to blog since I have been lazy...more like nothing much happened with my life. A month of holidays just wasted like that oh why. 

& that is all. 

Happy Chinese New Year! 

oh hey December.

not everything is too late, hence, start living the life you want.

Do the things you've always wanted to do. Do the things you dream to do.

Aim a little higher, expect lower.

Tell that someone something you've always wanted to say.

cause bear in mind, will you see another tomorrow? 

Hi! It's been forever since I last posted. Been a busy bee with assignments, projects, events, fatigue, procrastination...basically work. I promised a post on my sister's wedding but all I can think of what to say was : congratulations sis.

The event went smoothly and lovely. What did I do? As the bridesmaid...was to fan her. & being a little brat running around. *flips hair* it pays to be youthful. I hope my sister eternal happiness. I gained a new family & I look forward a happy future with seeing my new family members in many occasions. :)

Look forward for a photo spam that I have been...forgetting. Forgetting things until I can't even remember whatever things I wanted to say. But that's the awesome thing about pictures, they make us recall things. :)

Bon Odori UMS is an annual event held at the Chancellor's Hall's open area to commemorate the Key East Policy. What do we do at Bon Odori? We dance to the songs, had Japanese stalls, cosplays and a lot of events! This year I participated again but this time with my FunZ Crew lovelies.

Jingle bells, jingle bells jingle all the waaaay~ Santa decided to go goth today say what.

The Management/Design team of two certain malls in KK decided to dress Santa in black. Which to me, is a total BS. But then again, what do I know. & by the way, I am looking forward for this year's Christmas. It's my first Christmas with my FunZ friends as we are planning for a party! Oh yea, I don't celebrate Christmas as in, celebrating how I would celebrate Eid but I don't see any wrong spending time with my friends in their joyous days. I know my own borderline. :)

Speaking of Christmas, have you guys watched Rise Of The Guardians?

I personally thought it was AWESOME with an awesome lineup of voice actors. Jack Frost is dreamy. Santa is so badass here. Sandman is adorable. The Easter Bunny is also adorable especially the time he was 'shrunk' to this small ball of adorableness. Tooth is...hyperactive about teeth. But all in all I give it a 9/10. :) 

I decided to focus more on the movie despite the fact that my ex was in the same cinema hall which ruined the mood for me for the first 10 minutes? But I'm glad the person I watched the movie with me calmed me down. Told me not to think too much. Thank you. :) *smiles from ear to ear* 

Moving on!

One of the modules I took this semester is called....APK...thing is, it's an entrepreneurship module. I forgot the name to it, we've been calling it APK & I don't even know the full name to it. *sulks at a corner* What's important, is that we are to sell and go for business ventures at our university! Me and my group, came up with a line-up of accessories bearing the brand name Rockify. From the name itself, the accessories are made up of rocks! Since we're Geologists right~ ;) 

I never thought of going for any business ventures ever since my pirated CDs business back in the day...whoops. heheh. That's a funny story actually. Back when not everyone had Internet access, our household depended on dialed up Internet and when people can't find the songs they wanted..I stepped up and..made a pirated business venture. bahaha. Would charged people $1 per song & burned them in a CD. Those were the days....

Anyways! Our Rockify business earned us some good money and I am hoping for an A for this module! Fingers crossed!! 

It was nice meeting some old friends. I met Aan and Zeke, buddies from UiTM whilst I was at 1Borneo with Mag, Jia Yao followed later. But anyways, I missed these guys! Had many memorable times with these guys as we debated & trained together. Guys, catch up soon! I look forward for debating again next semester. Not this semester sadly, caught up with many things. :( 

& that's all I can think of. We are thrown by many obstacles everyday. People piss us off everyday. People come to our lives and imprint something everyday. Some stay, some left. They all mean something to us. Live everyday with no regrets, something I tell to myself everyday. As quoted by my Biology teacher back when I was in Form 4. Find and do something that makes you happy. If you find that something together with a group of friends, is much much better. 

I know I found mine. (Apple, HuanHuan & Ah Lai are missing here.)

& that's all from me. Good day! *will be changing this blog name to : Start Living.

a dose of life.

will I ever be good enough?
will I ever, live up to expectations?
will I find someone who will take me as I am?

I tried & yet I fall.
fall down 7 times, stand up 8.

but I keep on falling.
and failing.
further & further.
distancing from people.
or have others been keeping me at a distant?

I need to get up and face things.
I need to be brave to battle my own fears.
my own insecurities.
battling with myself.

I will never be good enough.
that's what I believe.
as a motivation to do much better.
100%? more than that.

pushing limits.
pushing boundaries.
pushing mental & physical limits.

I am tired.
Tired of life itself.
Ain't it sad, we are all young & yet we feel life has no meaning to us?

We are very, young.

That's why.
We have to stand up straight, stand up tall.

I am a failure.
I believe I am a failure.
with this belief, I shouldn't be down.
It should be a motivation.

Things get in my way.
People lose faith in me.
All I have is myself.

I will try. I will not give up.
No matter how painful & lonesome it is.
I need to survive.

I don't want to exist ; I want to live.

ps://  I haven't been posting bahaha. forgive me. I'll be back & there will be a spamming galore soon enough. :) good day loves. x

moving on.

was moving on ever easy? 

people say it is. but really,

how can one just forget? 

how can one just wake up & know that the person you think first in the morning..

probably has forgotten you? 

maybe I think too much.

maybe I loved too much.

expectations. lead to hope.

when hope is crushed.

the pain is even more....

intense. 

the kind of pain you can't even describe it well.

you're just in pain. 

nothing is wrong with you.

your heart is fine. physically.

but really,

it's not. 

I dare say, I still miss you.

the old you. 

but I'm trying to move on.

I am proud to say, there is progress. 

baby steps. 

I'll find someone, who will remind me, 

you're not the one who got away. 

:)

hello November.

as a gust of wind blows my face, precipitation starts to fall on me, leaving me damped, leaving me standing alone....waiting for sunlight.

It's November; soon it will be December & soon it will be the end of this year. It's a new month, a new breathe of air, a new chance perhaps, a new month, a new day....everything seems new when it comes to the beginning of a month. 

time passes so quickly. 

We always complain about how time passes so fast that we don't believe our time's limited day by day. Work piling up, chores left unattended, people you want to meet but can't..due to? "No time." We're so attached with so many things and we have 24 hours to do so. Within that span, we sleep, we eat, we do work, we have fun & at the end of the day, 99% of the time we will say "ah, I forgot to do something today." Time, my friend, is one fast runner. That is the ultimate flaw of time, it's fast. One would argue, time's fast when you're busy but goes real slow when you have nothing to do. I agree to disagree to that statement. 

The term 'nothing to do' does not technically exist in this era of technology (I'll be general with this) & I would classify 'nothing to do' as a 'First World Problem', which is a rather...'serious' problem. How can one have 'nothing to do' when you have the Internet and the ability to walk out of your house and walk around? 

moving on. 

As much as we blame limited time, one good thing about time is the statement 'time will heal'. Which is true and I very much agree to this. At a certain point in life, you think back an event that had happened in your life and with time, you will not think much about the heartfelt pain that you endured in that period of time. Within a certain period of time, the weight that's been pressuring your shoulders will eventually be reduced, the scar on your heart will heal, the physical scars will also heal, your eyes will not shed tears that much and you can finally talk about things with a smile or sense of relief. 

"It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace." — Chuck Palahniuk

We have to seek peace to seek happiness. 

Hello November, please be nice, not just to me, but to everyone, anyone reading this. :) 

light at the end of the tunnel.

we are so young & yet many of us are sad. 

they say these people are attention seekers. they say these people think too much. they put aside us because we're 'young and reckless'. people are so fast to judge. 

Being sad and depressed is never a laughing matter. Although I agree, there are a number who see 'looking sad/depressed' would garner some attention they seek in order for acceptance or assurance. Some are diagnosed as depressed. Some are sad for reasons they cannot comprehend. Either way, they should not be swept aside no matter how minute you think their reasons are. We are all humans, we are brothers and sisters inhabiting the Earth, we walk the same soil, we breathe the same air...we should all hold hands and help each other in times of sadness and even in happiness. 

But what do we see everyday? Picking on others, bullying others like it's alright. There are many posts on blogs, videos on youtube that touch on this issue. Sad isn't it? Sad that this is happening to our generation. 

Why are people sad?

That's the golden question. People are sad for many reasons. Family, personal struggles, peers, school, environment...the emptiness that one feel. Like there is a gap in their hearts that they cannot understand why is it there. Some people don't know why they're sad. 

"I just am."

I've seen people mock these people, calling them crazy & 'out of their minds'. It's because people like these that makes things even worse, sadly.

If you happen to see this post, you may not know me, I might not know you...but hey, things are going to be okay. Yes, I know, it's an overused term and you think it's full of lies. But, like this blog post say, there's light at the end of the tunnel. I won't touch on religious statements because I respect everyone's beliefs but you know, anything that's bottled up in you...it's better for you to speak it up. It's hard, I know. But making yourself hurt even further won't solve your problems. Harming yourself isn't either. I know, I've been there. 

it'll all be alright. 

& for your information : I'm a tweet or an email away.